Photos of riding AND my penis

abzillah · **Posted:** Sun Apr 27, 2014 11:40 pm

First I have some photos of LanceUpperCut at Big Bear this weekend, photos taken by Michele P.
At the end of the day he got injured. I wasn't there, so he can post up details.

Noble Canyon

Raping a squirrel!

Check out the size of my penis!

To walk, I have to jump off my own penis

Where bikes come from?

Mother's day soon, I'm broke, so I'll just pick some wild flowers.

Rub this on your balls!

Check out my DT jersey!

avidtest · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 9:01 am

I was shocked and dismayed when I read this report. The expected references to dildos and anal rape were glaringly omitted.

Boy, I sure wish I could come across a bike tree during the harvest season.

OldDogDan · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 9:45 am

Great photos and highly entertaining commentary as always. There was even a Yellow Thang climbing a tree. I hope Lance's injury is not serious.

amor587 · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:36 am

Looks like is was a great day out in the local MTN's!

Lanceuppercut · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:43 am

On Friday afternoon at Snow Summit I tried to chop down a pine tree with my ribs. I went off the side of the trail and high sided sending me airborne down a steep embankment. I ended up hitting a tree with my upper back to the right of my spine at about 20mph. I broke three ribs and broke a piece off my T5 vertebrae. The impact also popped my clavicle completely off my scapula. I'm doing pretty well considering how bad it was.

avidtest · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 12:39 pm

Holy Shit! :shock:

Every time I start to feel like I want to start attempting the things that scare me, I read a post like this. I think I'd rather be scared than in the hospital with the risk of a permanent injury.

Hope you heal up quick and like new.

OldDogDan · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:14 pm

Ditto Holy Shit!! So much for hoping it's not serious. That sounds bad. And painful. Keep us updated, and I hope you heal up fast.

Lanceuppercut · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:23 pm

avidtest wrote:

Holy Shit! :shock:

Every time I start to feel like I want to start attempting the things that scare me, I read a post like this. I think I'd rather be scared than in the hospital with the risk of a permanent injury.

Hope you heal up quick and like new.

My crash occurred due to my complacency. This was my fourth day in a week, and probably close to 20th run down the trail. I had the trail pretty well dialed and had taken many "full speed" runs down. This particular run we were stopping and taking pictures. I was just cruising to the next spot we were planning on stopping. I was basically riding a high speed DH trail and not paying attention to it. Needless to say I learned a HUGE and painful lesson.

Feel free to make fun of me. I'm already getting plenty of sympathy for doing something stupid.

Lanceuppercut · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:27 pm

This is my shoulder which is by far the most pleasant injury.

n10sive · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 1:34 pm

Before the crash, Lanceuppercut was tearing up the mountain! He was just a blur all day. Just a bad end to an awesome day. So much for that dislocated shoulder hypothesis. Heal up soon man!

Edit: Advice to the few: bring your insurance card and don't risk the shameful call to the wifey. Unless you never crash

.

childplease · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 8:34 pm

John, What section did u crash in?

Canaan · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 10:08 pm

Yikes!!! As bad as it was, it sounds like it could have been much worse. Hope you heal up soon.

Ray Dolor · **Posted:** Mon Apr 28, 2014 11:28 pm

Get better soon, Lance.

torsp · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2014 6:10 am

That sucks, healing vibes.

Lanceuppercut · **Posted:** Tue Apr 29, 2014 7:47 am

childplease wrote:

John, What section did u crash in?

Toward the bottom of Miracle Mile there is a wood G-out then a paver hump to a descending paver left turn. I went too fast over the paver hump and missed the left turn.

Photos of riding AND my penis

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